Thanks Anita, I think you are right. She isn’t available for a lasting relationship, and it’s something I’m slowly coming to terms with. I still care about her a lot, and even love her, but she’s not willing to try with me. I asked if she wanted to see a movie this weekend but she turned me down because she has a ‘cold’ and isn’t wanting to go out until she finishes her exams. She is however back on dating apps as I saw her appear on my dating stream tonight… naturally I didn’t like or dislike.

I can only imagine she’s not wanting to go out with me because she doesn’t want to try and fix things. Her dreams and aspirations of joining the armed forces are possible, but with the situation at home, not practical. I don’t know what’s going on in her head but perhaps she’s going back to dating for the escapism you were talking about Anita, or maybe she’s open to a relationship because she realises that she is trapped at home for the foreseeable future? What I don’t understand is why she doesn’t want to try and fix things between us? She likes me, knows she played a major part in us not working (exams and outside pressure) and understands I truly care about her. Maybe she thinks I’ve moved on, but I’ve asked to meet, since our last meeting, 5-6 times in the past 6 weeks. Surely she knows I’m still interested?

I said that my next scan is in February, ‘so maybe we can see each other then’. She’s seen it but hasn’t responded to it. It’ll be interesting to see what, if anything, she says to that.

At this stage I just want to say my peace, unload these heavy emotions I feel and take back some control. So should I wait a little over 2 weeks for a possible meeting or should I have this conversation over the phone?