Dear laelithia:

I think you have a strong compulsion to turn a rejecting person around and make him want you again. You focus on the goal and even before it is fully achieved, you lose interest.

I think that this compulsion is born out of your very early experience with your disapproving, frowning mother, feeling then the intense desire to turn her frown into a smile, so that she looks at you smiling, approving, pleased. Not frowning, disapproving, displeased, sighing and shaking her head.

Further I think your thinking is logical and organized, except that the foundation of your thinking is faulty. That foundation needs to be corrected. The faulty foundation is your understanding of your mother and your past and present relationship with her.

Your relationship with your mother is dictating your relationships with men even though your mind doesn’t go there and is totally focused on the men.

Do you still find comfort in your mother’s company, still looking for her advice, still trying to receive her approval, fulfil her expectations?

anita