Dear John:

You do  it by learning who the woman is before getting too emotionally involved. Take the time needed to get to know her, pace yourself, don’t rush.

Ask yourself: who is this woman? Does she lie or tell the truth; when she says she’ll do something, does she keep her word? Does she take responsibility for her mistakes or does she blame me?

Is she seeing someone else while she is seeing me?

Has she been involved with a married man before, knowingly and for a long time?

Find out who she  is. Keep yourself as objective as possible while you learn who she is. Only if and when you find out, over time, that the woman is honest, responsible, trustworthy, then allow yourself to move closer toward her.

anita