Dear laelithia:

I understand that you are hurting and I hope you feel better soon. I believe that better awareness on your part will help you feel better, if you persist with increasing your awareness to what is happening, over time.

You wrote today, Jan 30, regarding your mother: “I don’t think I seek comfort in her company, advice or approval anymore. I think I stopped doing this when I was young”.

But only ten days ago, Jan 20, after your boyfriend broke up with you, you did just that, looked for comfort from her: “I talked to my mother about this today.. She listened and consoled me .. As I started to sob, she told me I can’t do that though, I need to  pick myself up, stop crying, and do what needs to be done in my life”.

It is interesting how our awareness can skip reality, isn’t it.

So is your awareness regarding what happened with your boyfriend, I believe. It has gaps in it. The “small disagreement” you had with him most recently is small only in isolation.

I will ask you this: isn’t it true that before he broke up with you, you were bored with him and talked to him a whole lot about your regret regarding the relationship with another man ending, and isn’t it true that you started chasing your current boyfriend because he broke up with you, not because you loved him while in the relationship with you?

anita