Grounded,

I’m sorry you’re having such a turbulent time at the moment. It sucks. To be honest, it really seems ye are not meant to be together right now. He’s not showing you the level of respect someone should expect in a committed loving relationship. Now I know that’s not what you want to hear because you love him, of course you do. I don’t want to hear anything about my ex either because I still love him.

But the evidence is there if you choose to look – he’s on dating websites, he’s monopolizing your group of friends without too much consideration for how it affects you. He is seeking validation in the wrong places, so he’s not really working on himself and his self esteem – that takes hard hard work and deep introspection, not nights out with Bryson!

I’m not going to say he’s off living his best life without you, I’d say he’s pretty messed up in his head. However, he’s not doing anything serious about addressing it or finding out what truly makes him happy. You can’t put your life on hold for someone who would not and is not doing the same for you, it will eventually eat you up.

This I realise is easier said than done though, trust me, everyone on this thread knows that. But you HAVE done so well by getting off the hamster wheel with him and not responded to his messages. Only get back on that wheel if there is significant change. Also, it’s hard to do, but you’re going to have to expand your friendship circle if possible –  even try making one new friend who has no connection to your ex. Online activity will not not not help you, this I can assure you. Mute everything, block him, without deleting him if needs be. Private message some of your closer friends in the whatsapp groups and say you’re signing out for a bit, just for a break as things are a little awkward at times and obviously Im sure your friends will understand.

The urgent need to be with him and think about him fades after about 6 weeks when certain chemicals and hormones die down, you’ll still want to be with him but the cray cray need to be with him (that I have very much experienced) eases off slightly.

Remember you have this forum and are doing so well, standing up for what you’re worth – well done. I’m not even that strong, so well done you! Tiny Buddha is a gift too.