Thank you both for the replies.

I’m trying to connect to people in person. I’m not in paid work but am volunteering. Whenever I chat to anyone it’s clear I’m quite nervous – it makes me worried people feel like they have to talk to me or do it out of pity. I’ve found the same thing Mark, and tend to ask a lot of questions. It’s when the questions are reversed I find myself stuck as I don’t have much to contribute to the conversation. The last few years of my life have been wrapped around anxiety recovery and family problems. I’m doing a little more with myself now – volunteering, a class once a week – but ultimately I don’t have much to talk about, and the conversation seems to come to a halt? & My mind constantly goes blank, which doesn’t help.

anita – I am prepared to move out and looking forward to it, but I can’t afford to just now. I’m volunteering in different places with the hope of gaining some work experience, and building confidence, to then move onto paid work so I can move.  I’m trying to build a life for myself, away from home, but it is small steps. Am I understanding correctly – you think that I’m focusing on him right now to avoid my home situation?

I feel stuck where I am, and am taking small but gradual steps to improve it. I’m not sure what much else I can do, and having some friends, even if they are online, feels helpful and a bit less lonely.