Dear Anita,

Scenario 2:

Sister does not say directly, but feels sad that we haven’t been in contact much at all, and do not spend time together etc although living in the same city.

Devil immediately reacts and feels bad, feels guilty, as it is the duty of myself to make sure it does not happen.  What kind of sister does this?!? Mother voice kicking in – saying wow how sad

Angel says:

my sister and I need space, not just for me, but her as well. It is not an opinion, it is an objective truth.  I was taking on way too many of her anxieties and problems, and she mine.

I was raised to feel that she was my responsibility – but in reality – no one is anyone’s responsibility, no one that is an adult that is capable of standing on their own two feet.  We are not in charge of the happiness and functionality of others.  Unless that person is an infant or a dependent being, we do not have to hold ourselves to this role.  To feel responsible for the well being of another adult is futile for both parties.

It is impossible.