Well. Today I realized I’m really not in love with my girlfriend. It’s our one year anniversary today of meeting each other. And instead of wanting to get her something special. I feel like I have to. Even picking out a card I felt like I had to find one that didn’t say anything meaning that we were meant for each other or we will be together forever. And for flowers. I just got a normal bouquet that wasn’t too expensive

with my ex girlfriend  for our anniversary.  I  could t wait to get her something.  In fact I had three sets of flowers delivered to her at work throughout the day and I wrote her a poem and had made reservations at a nice restaurant.  I couldn’t really afford it but I didn’t care.  She was my baby and I loved her with no boundaries or judgement.

I feel like such an a$$hole.  I wish I could feel that way with my girlfriend now.  This is so hard.  I regret I ever went the next level with my girlfriend.  I feel like I have or will destroy her world.

When we met it felt so right .  Now it just feels like it’s what I’m supposed to do.  Just getting  by.  I can’t help but think this is what my ex felt like.

I feel so bad for not seeing how things had gotten bad with my ex and I feel horrible about things now with my girlfriend.  I should of never started dating again.

I feel like all I do is keep making mistakes and hurting people around me.