Kkasxo,

I completely get what you mean about being on autopilot. I live an unhappy life now too and it’s all I know right now. Do you think you could be in the depression phase of a grief cycle at the moment and you just don’t have the motivation? Are you working or going to the gym – anything to try and shake the funk? I know it’s hard though, my sweatpants and baggy jumper are my  best friends at the moment!

You won’t be like this forever, I just don’t get that feel from you, even though I know this is contrary to what you think. It may take some time – a good duration of time perhaps- but you’ll come through eventually. You’ll look back one day and be proud of yourself for what you’ve overcome. But of course, it takes therapy, work, sometimes medication, exercise and most importantly the love and support of those around you.

I agree with you, I’m probably definitely holding out hope. It’s like we will ‘eventually’ get back together as ludacris as that might sound. Ya see the last time, there was absolutely zero contact when we split for months and yet he still missed me and wanted to be with me. He’s just not readable in the obvious way. I’m sure if he wanted to contact me, he would. But part of me says, oh well, it’s just not his way, but maybe he wants to.

I don’t know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what Michelle said, am I refusing to move on? Am I just not accepting and if so, how do I do that?

Its all very confusing to me.

How has today been??