I’m about 1 year and 4 months out from the breakup. We haven’t really gone more than a month and a half without some form of communication in that time, and usually it’s super short talks, but it pulls me back in every time.  I’m doing well now though. I was completely devastated for about 8 months or so, cried almost every day no matter how hard I tried to just let go and move on, but counseling helped a lot and so did working on myself. I was sort of able to make sense of what happened after a while and that understanding helped me to resolve it in my head a bit, even though I never really got full closure. Watching videos by people like Kyle Cease and Kerwin Rae helped a lot, too. It just sort of gives you a different perspective.

Just know it’s okay and natural to be feeling the things you’re feeling and there’s nothing you can do about the sadness than to just sit with it until it passes. From my experience with it, if you’re similar, you’re likely going to go back and forth between being critical of yourself and him and being understanding of everything. Grief from the loss will come in waves, but those waves will get fewer and far between as time goes on, or at least that’s what I’ve noticed. I still miss my ex because he was also my very best friend, but I’ve come to accept the breakup and all of the good that I’ve gotten from it with all of the improvements I’ve made in my life that I might not have been pushed to make otherwise. So I’m grateful for that. Hopefully either your husband will eventually get himself straightened out and start lining his words up with his actions again and you two can rebuild or you find someone you connect even more with.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Valora.