Hi Anita, I went to the Doctor and was prescribed Zoloft. I have yet to start it because I am nervous to be on medication. On Thursday when I went to the Doctor I had a sense of calm so I decided I would again try to sooth myself and decide later on if I will take these pills. For the last 5 days I have been pretty calm but still not feeling great. It is weird that I haven’t experienced much anxiety but still feel depressed and unhappy. Am really unsure what to do. I sometimes feel like I am sinking in to who I used to be. Someone unhappy and full of self doubt. I continue to maintain my boundaries but it is difficult. My aunt hasn’t bothered me much these last few days, not sure if it is that I have been kind of numb or because I have accepted I am here with her at this moment. I am very confused today I will say that. Yesterday I was completely numb. I felt like what is the point of life? I have another Aunt who is very sickly and was rushed to the ER for a serious situation and I still felt numb. I feel badly but have low empathy right now. It is a bad feeling. I feel through everything I have gone through I am becoming numb. Maybe my brain just wants a break. I am also leaving to Arizona to visit my brother. (yes the one who molested me as a child and the one whose wife I dislike intensely) So I am so very nervous about this. I wonder why I made the decision to go. I think I did because at the time my other brother convinced me it would be a good idea to get away from the cold and see my nephew which I agree with but am so afraid to be around people who have hurt me so much in the past.