Dear Anita,

I think my mother and myself are similar in the sense that we always tend to look for the ‘good’ in people. I think at the time of the trauma she was focused on me and my pain, as any mother would be, she will always be on my side I guess. With time though perhaps she is able to look at things from a distance, different perspective maybe. It doesn’t excuse the pain caused by my ex partner and she has made that very clear however she can acknowledge that prior to this we did indeed have an amazing relationship and we were extremely happy together so I think maybe knowing how much I’m struggling and how much I miss him this conversation was her way of saying ‘If this is what you want, I will stand with you all the way’. I suppose maybe she is of the belief that we are only human and we make mistakes and if we are truly sorry for this, then we should be entitled to make things right and be given another chance.. I’ve never really asked her so I can only assume this would be it.

I’ll add though that my step-father is of the complete opposite view. He is unable to forget the pain caused by my ex partner and although if we did officially get back together he’d have to deal with it, I don’t think he would approve of wish to continue any relations with him. I think rather it would be a civil hi and bye situation for my sake.

What are your thoughts on this Anita?