Dear Kkasxo:

“my mother and myself are similar in the sense that we always tend to look for the ‘good’ in people”- I think it is a good thing, to look for the good in people because it is there. But when a person repeatedly harms another, better protect oneself, better choose accordingly.

Your bio father harmed you by repeatedly, over a period of years, showing up late or not at all to visits with you, and you were left hurt and disappointed every time. Instead of your mother looking at the good in him and allowing him to disappoint you again and again, she should have looked at how he affected you, looked at how you were hurt and disappointed. She then should have stopped insisting that he re-enters your life and insisted instead that he stays out of your life.

Regarding your ex boyfriend, you wrote: “I suppose maybe (your mother)  is of the belief that we are only human and we make mistakes and if we are truly sorry for this, then we should  be entitled to make things right and be given another chance”, and that what she communicated to you something like: “if this (resuming a relationship with him) is what you want, I will stand with you all the way”-

-problem is that you presented his mistake as a TRAUMA that he inflicted on you June last year, a trauma that led you to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder eight months going.

But what is trauma?  What do you mean by using the word trauma and the term PTSD?

You shared that you and your boyfriend back in June had a difference of  opinions,  his mother got involved in the disagreement, siding with her son and against you, your boyfriend then walked away from you and ended the relationship.

You experienced that event and the breakup as a trauma. Do you mean that every breakup of a romantic relationship is a trauma inflicted by the person initiating the breakup against the party that doesn’t want the breakup and feels hurt as a result?

anita