Thanks Anita, I am going to much consideration before taking anything because it makes me nervous. They prescribed me the smallest doseage at 25 MG of Zoloft. My therapist doesn’t think it is a bad idea.

Ok so I was molested young from ages 5-13? From what I can remember and there are various different times that I remember. It wasn’t an ongoing thing. Since then I was always in communication with my brother. It was never anything I told anyone or spoke about. It’s as if it never happened. Again it wasn’t exactly forceful it was a manipulation.  We have carried on a relationship all of these years. And through them after recent experiences and the awakening I am having I believe he held that power over me. I have always been a people please and feel like I tried to please him and his woman for the last ten years. I have slowly backed off. After recent events with my ex and learning about  Narcissism things seem to make sense to me. I have been used and abused my entire life by multiple people and it hurts and I believe it is the reason for my current ups and downs. The trip came about because it normal for us siblings all to see each other. When I was in Florida and My older brother in Arizona and other here in Chicago we would make our rounds. So this is a routine trip and get away but this time my mind is so much different. I have been through so much lately. My heart has literally took a beating. My mind is confused and I am in pain. I am stronger as far as I am awake to the abusive and dysfunctional ways of people but am weak as far as where do I go with this info. According to what I have learned. There aren’t many if any non dysfunctional relationships in my life. It makes me so afraid and so hurt. I feel so alone. So I am trying to grow as a person but still salvage any bonds I can with family since in the end that is all we got. It is so hard and difficult.