Dear Harsh,

You see yourself as “something” to be fixed. You have anxiety so you’re trying to fix your thoughts. With your relationships, you’re trying to ascertain that everything is just peachy by watching your friends and, it seems, reacting inappropriately when you try to remedy the perception that they might just dislike you. You fear the judgment of having any faults so you cover that up by “being successful and having the dream life” that many could only dream of.

You’re so focus on the imperfection, on the flaws, of yourself and what people might see in you, that you don’t let yourself be a flawed human. You search for any signs of scorn from your friends because you fear that should they see your flaws, they will leave you. You need constant attention from others to verify your position. You feel inferior even when your “reality” is successful. You don’t want to be a flawed human.

But other people are flawed humans who only wish for flawed human relationships, not a relationships of seeking imaginary perfection and fixing the appearance of imperfection.

If you truly hope for a meaningful relationship, then you will have to allow yourself to be a flawed human; a flawed human that will allow others to see your humanness, your imperfection, and to be okay with that, while also making space for other flawed humans to be their own human.