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Hey anita,
I was away from my computer all weekend so I wasn’t able to write back. My sister got married this weekend and, as you know, my ex was a bridesmaid. The place we had the wedding is very important to me and it was hard seeing her there. When I first saw her I felt so angry because of what she was putting me through, but as the day progressed I couldn’t help but talk to her more and more and be friendly with her. It was breaking my heart and making me happy all at the same time. I decided that we should talk, since it had been about a week and a half since the break up. She told me that she “doesn’t care about anything anymore” and that she is feeling very depressed. It broke my heart to see her like that. She is a very happy person but I think she may be clinically depressed. We had the talk outside and she was getting mosquito bites so I drove to walmart to get some medicine. Not to win her back or anything, I just care about her well-being. She rode with me and held my hand all the way there.
Once we got back in the car I kissed her. And she kissed me back. I still feel the “fireworks” with her after all these years whenever we kiss. I kissed her because I love her but I get so nervous because I don’t want that to be the last time we ever kiss. I love this girl so much.
The wedding happened the next day and things were okay, they were a bit awkward with my family though. My family and I are very close so they aren’t too happy that she broke my heart. She left the reception early because she said she felt so out of place and excluded. I walked her to her car and kissed her one more time before she left. I watched the tears roll down her face as she pulled away. I know she loves me, but I don’t understand how you can leave someone you love.
As for your response, I can see the possibility of her making a promise through emotion. It is highly questionable that a high school senior would be able to confidently say they’ve found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. She just spoke about it so often, not only to me. My parents, my siblings, her friends and my friends. She let everyone know how much she wanted to be with me.
When I speak to her I feel like I’m talking to a shell of herself; that the real girl, the one I’ve known for so long, is somewhere inside of her, trapped. I just want to bring her out again. I am getting better day by day and this website is a blessing. It has given me so much insight and I feel as though I’ve gained wisdom through other people’s experiences. I’m praying for her and our relationship.
-G