Dear anita,

in my childhood I cannot remember such moments, I don’t think. Maybe I forgot. I also wasn’t very nice to him, I must say. Sometimes he helped me with my homework, but it was difficult as he is not so good at explaining and I wasn’t so interested in the subject. He tried to help me in his way, I think. For example he organized coaching lessons for the subjects I wasn’t good at.When I was little we went for day trips to places of interest, but I don’t know if I interacted much with him there?

Now as a grown up, he has been kinder to me. Sometimes he can be understanding and gentle. I also admire how he stood up for his beliefs in a time where it wasn’t easy politically. Sometimes I sense his vulnerability and I feel compassion for him. But in my childhood there was not much mutual understanding, as far as I can remember. I think because of talking about my childhood more in therapy, old wounds opened again and I got angrier and more impatient with my parents recently. Why do you ask?

I don’t remember clearly how I felt, when he hurt me. I think it didn’t feel good, it hurt me. When he said I blackmailed him with my crying, I then cried only when I was alone. As a child I felt like I wanted to break free, I couldn’t wait to grow up and move out. But when I grew up, I was pretty lost about what to do.