Dear Cali Chica:

I marked my own calendar, Feb 13 with a monthly reminder. I suggest you do the same, so that you can congratulate yourself each month for your success that month. I marked it “CaliChicaNC/NA”, NC stands for No Contact with your mother (Congratulations again!) and NA for No Attack.

It will be about keeping your anxiety baseline lower on a daily basis and endure elevated distress at any time when in the presence of your husband and … do no harm, say nothing, do nothing, take a time out and do no harm.

Do not help, simply do no harm: every time you feel the urge to help someone and the help is not necessary (no real emergency and not in the workplace) or is not very easy to do (ex. keeping a door open for the person entering a building after you), remind yourself: do not help, simply do no harm. Detach from the former, focus on the latter: do no harm.

anita