Well it’s been awhile since I’ve posted on here….

Well, I tell you what…  That woman defiantly put  a curse on me.  I haven’t been able to quit thinking about her at all.  It’s hard to explain.  I feel like I’m missing her more and more everyday.  I did cry a few  days ago again.  This is killing me.  I so bad just want to send her a message.  I know i shouldn’t and it is just inviting more pain, but damn!  It”s like i just can’t stop thinking about her.  No matter what i’m doing or whom i’m doing it with.  I was watching a movie last night and there was a part in it where it was all mushy.  I was laying there with my girlfriend watching this, and all I could think of is my ex!  God help me.  Seriously, i think about her every single day, probably 90% of the time in some way or form.  I still love her so freakin much, it kills me.  My stupid F&$%ING brain and heart still thinks/feels like someday, we will be together again.  I hate this so much.  It’s like all i want to do is hold her and kiss her and love her.  I would give anything for that.  Seriously, anything!  Well now i’m crying.  Shit!  I really do love her with my soul.

We got a lot of snow today, first time this season.  So of coarse, instead of wanting to go home and be with my girlfriend, again i’m just thinking about my ex, what is she doing?  How much fun i could have with her today.

Times like this, i really do feel like I am crazy or going crazy.  I’m doing my best to push through it though.  I really am.  It’s just hard when every time I close my eyes I see  her face.