Hi Sarah,

I agree with B. above. You really need to stop these one way friendships, where you are always giving – of your time, your patience and your unquestioning devotion –  but where no-one is giving anything back to you. These friends are taking you for granted.

I guess it’s been a long time since you put yourself first. Now you have to, because to do otherwise and let these friendships carry on will not only exhaust you, but put yours and your boyfriends plans to be together at risk.

You deserve to be treated in exactly the same way as you would like to be treated yourself. And how you treat others. Anything less than that is disrespectful of your friends.  Keep repeating that.

The friend who lives with you on an occasional basis. I know you hate to say that she needs to leave, but it’s the only way given the situation. If she is your true friend, she will be happy for you and your future plans. She will recognise that you need to move on. Yes, it’s always difficult when you have been friends for so long without any outside interference. Situations change and you have to move forward and give you and your BF that chance.

I also think you should start getting a lot more distant with the friend who ‘walks all over you’.  But think on this. Why do you let her do this to you. By allowing the behaviour, you are condoning it. You are allowing it to continue and this is making you unhappy.

Perhaps you need to stop ‘people pleasing’ and please yourself now. Put yourself first for a change. You will be happier for taking back some of the control these people have over you.