Hi Sophia.

That’s a tough time you have been through and still going through now. What can you do to help get over him – to start with I would suggest focusing on your son, your own life. How are you dealing with looking after him, do you have family and friends around supporting you, are you back at work, do you have somewhere safe/good to live?  Focus on ensuring your own life and your son’s life is as good as it can be without this man. Not necessarily to block him from seeing his son but in order to protect your son, you need to make sure any contact is controlled, safe, a good experience for your son.

Then I would start to work on yourself – people use the word love but often mean very different things. For example, from your story you have shared, I find it hard to see why or what you love about this man. I see no evidence of him respecting or loving you at any time or how he has added any happiness or value to your live apart from your son obviously. Yes, you want to be a happy family but that does not seem in any way a realistic possibility with this man to me – does it to you? You can’t help who you fall in love with but you can help who you stay in love with, who you stay with and who is actually worth of your love. Is it just that now you see him out with other women that makes you want him more and has triggered this wanting him back?