“– question is what to do about this fear, how to lower it, contain it, manage it better, so that there is space in your mind and life for some joy, curiosity, desire, drive, motivation” – this is THE question I want to find the answer to and if it is even possible.

I have been thinking about moving out quite a bit lately especially after starting this topic here.   You are right the fear has been established – i don’t think i see myself as financially responsible for my family anymore though, my fear is that *I* will be left with no money. And i hate to admit it, but part of the reason I am not able to insist marriage is not for me is the lure of having a partner when I screw up, so there is still one person standing so things don’t completely fall apart.