Apologies for the late reply anita, as well as for what I’ve just realised was a very disordered post; it came from a chaotic place! I posted it elsewhere as well and copied the text over to here, which is why there is duplication.

Thank you kindly for the suggestion. Indeed like everyone I experienced my share of suffering as a child that has followed me like a shadow to this day. I work continuously with myself to get better and tend to my wounds, and have become very aware of the baggage I carry. It is something I tend to every day, and I very much agree with the notion I think you’re implying that one cannot help others effectively without helping themselves.

But I feel that I already am doing all I can to nurture this self and not judge it. I feel I am at a stage where I could help others in spite of my personal troubles because at least I am not suppressing such troubles.

I have paid it all more thought and realised I’ve been looking into this famine stuff with an arrogant mindset of “It’s my responsibility to save the world, and I’m going to do it”. I am trying to be more realistic now. Still, the question of how to live as a loving Buddhist in a world so corrupt, so greedy, so angry, so miserable, so unequal, so alienated from what makes it beautiful… I could go on… it is hard to know what to do.