Dear Jay:

I am impressed by how clearly you see things and how clearly you communicate your insights. The way you see B- I doubt anyone in her life sees her as clearly as you do.

When a person never takes responsibility for their actions and always blames others,  then there is no learning and what results is abuse of others.

You wrote that you would be sad to not see your mother “being treated well”, and that you have a feeling that she wouldn’t miss you much at all-

Reads to me that your story is one more story of the common theme of parent/ child relationship-unrequited love. The child loves the parent from an early age, and that love never dies- that love is the strongest when the child loves an unloving parent, keeps reaching out to the parent, trying to earn their love.

It took me decades before I realized: oh, I loved her all along, but… she didn’t love me. It is an overwhelming realization, has been for a long time. I think I am at peace with it at the present time, have been absorbing this reality for a while.

anita