Hey both – your latest travel update from sunny, warm Thailand again! Few more days here before heading out to Cambodia – will be sad to leave here, love the culture and the food but looking forwards to doing the Lara Croft/Tombraider thing at Angkor Wat in particular.  My travelling style these days is very different to the kinds of holidays I used to do, it’s much slower, more immersive, more real, mostly just walking around enjoying noticing all the little details that make lives around the world both the same and different. It is also a great way to get different perspectives on what is important and just time & space to think, total luxury for me…

Kkasxo – interesting about your ex and the moving out comments – and I loved your reaction of “well, I’ll believe it when I actually see it….”. Too true, words are the easy part for most people, especially when saying what they think people want to hear. It’s actions and real honesty that I value too, especially from my partner – even if at the time I often hate it….! Dealing with reality is the only real way forwards. I know you are struggling to do much beyond the basics of looking after yourself but that is better than pretending both to yourself and others that everything is ok when it is not.  There’s a lot of pressure in the world to pretend, to have an appearance of total happiness/control/acheivement and so on at work, in relationships, in family – but it is all so much better once you stop pretending and just be yourself.  So at least you are doing that – even if not through choice as yet.   Did you hear any more about that contract role outside London? Sounded like a potentially good option being put your way – having worked in London over 15 years aware it can be a strange/very different culture to outside London – and have to admit I would have gone crazy living there too, hence why I put up with the 2 1/2 hr commute all those years to live up here!

Shelby – don’t mean to contradict or detract from your progress with your therapist at all, it’s good you have found one you trust totally and who is helping you through this. They are the professionals after all, not us!  I’m sure you do absolutely love your ex in the way you think about love now.  I’m just aware of how much I’ve learned about love and the different kinds, levels, depths through my similar experience and how I can look back now and recognise I did love that guy, but not like I love now. It’s a little hard to explain and it’s not knocking the love you feel now, just trying to explain it can be different, even better. Something I would likewise not have believed back then was possible, people just didn’t understand how special what we had was etc.  Again, not to stop you loving now, just keep your mind open that it could be different. It is possible to have the kind of love you want returned and more.  How is it going now with him? And your sister’s boy still doing ok I hope?