Hi Anita,

Thanks for replying and for reading through my posts.

I actually didn’t initially leave my country, but my hometown, and moved to a smaller city in my home country. That’s where I met who we can call H. Where I ended up is very close to the border of another country so I moved abroad in August, after spending five years in the town where H lives. It’s super easy to travel, about 30 minutes by train and I’m back in my native country. That’s a detail but quite important, since I do feel a little conflicted with where I am supposed to be. It’s not totally easy to integrate in a new country, even if it is just 30 minutes away from your own.. I’m not at all certain if I want to. I thought I would let work govern my decisions but now I’m not so sure.

I did feel like I was missing a close-knit community in my hometown. That is also why it felt so good moving, I could experience all these things, it gave me a lot of freedom. I guess just living somewhere else made me feel a bit high on life, like I could try new things and live in a different way. It’s been lonely and especially knowing that I do have a support system in my hometown that haven’t witnessed or partaken in any of what’s happened in my new life. I can make it clear that it’s a support system, but I always felt a bit alienated from my friends back home because I had the drive and curiosity to go elsewhere, whereas they mostly talked about it. I didn’t want to miss out on a new part of my life, so when I decided to start my masters I moved. It did come with a price – loneliness. It’s not that far away from my hometown, about 5 hours by train, but it’s still far. I am conflicted about if I should go back, and everything will be the same as it was when I left, or if I should stay here. Not sure about what to do at all. A friend group that is comfortable and long-lasting is definitely a feeling of security for me. It also brings about a feeling of not having to depend on one partner or my parents. My siblings are a bit scattered and I guess I am some kind of oddball in my own family. An oddball needs a support group.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Hella.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Hella.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Hella.