Lulu,

He does not want to make a will.  I suggest you draw one up yourself with your lawyer and bring him to the office to sign it.  I am not sure what other commitment you want out of him.

When you said he does not want anything to do with his son, that is a red flag for me.  That tells me that he is not a responsible father.

You ask how to talk to someone when he shuts down?  He sounds like a person/partner to get emotional support.  He won’t or cannot change.  I suggest you find others to help you with such things, e.g. your mum.

You need to decide what you want and what to do with your life for he is what he is and probably won’t change.

Mark