Good morning all,

Shelby – Yes fear is definitely the main factor here and I think it has been for many many months now. Fear of everything and anything if I am to be honest. I just can’t quite picture how my life will go forward from here.. I suppose in a sense you’re right and this could really be the breakthrough that I have been waiting for it is just terrifying all together. In regards to your current situation, try not to be so hard on yourself, I know that you probably are aware that seeing/speaking to your ex again is not ideal but nonetheless it is what it is. I know all too well how much easier it is to be in contact and fuelled by that stupid hope than not to be.. God I’ve been at this myself for months on end now! Just as you have advised me, one step at a time.. We may not understand our journeys now but I am hopeful that one day it will all make sense! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy your trip away with your ex!

Michelle – Ah so wonderful to hear from you again! Honestly, your descriptions of the place are second to none, you should write a book! I think you’re right, i’m leaving it until June I guess out of hope that he WILL pull through with this? Maybe a little bit of the fact that anything prior to June is basically tomorrow which is terrifying! So I think i’d like to convince myself that I have time… which I really don’t. He has looked at places, spoken to his family and even has tried to arrange some viewings BUT I am still not falling for it. I really am not. Quite frankly, i’d like to get away from him, this whole situation, my trauma, my friends, everyone and everything in general and start over! Because right now I cant ever imagine my life moving forward where I am at..

Trio – I can understand how difficult it must be going through the breakup and trying to keep focused on WHY it had to happen. I’m sort of in a similar boat right now in which I feel I have outgrown any kind of relationship with my ‘ex’ (although more like my current partner) but I am just too afraid to rock that boat for myself due to other trauma that I have experienced.. I think it may be too much for me to handle. I hope with time you gain the clarity that you need to move forward with your life and yes 2.5 weeks IS still very fresh! So cry, be upset, whatever it is you need, it is all a part of this shitty process!