Dear Lily:

I remembered a moment ago that you shared long ago that your father accused you of things, like for crying with the intent to manipulate him somehow. He suggested to you that you had dishonest intents when reality is, you had no dishonest intents. I figure your father’s accusations confused you and planted the core belief that you do have dishonest intents when you don’t!

I share this core belief with you, unfortunately. My mother accused me repeatedly for doing things on purpose, with the intent to hurt her. I didn’t have such intent, but she insisted that I did, so I believed her. A core belief was established: that when I make a mistake or when I just say or do anything at all, I have the intent to hurt another person. This has led to decades of torture, that really bad feeling of an evil intent I .. didn’t have.

Regarding K- I have disliked him for a long, long time, in the context of your thread, nd I still don’t like him. I think he is dishonest, and self serving, after you to serve him. I think he is selfish. I don’t see a possibility for a loving, healthy relationship with him. He is one place where you will not find love.

Congratulations for asserting yourself and not having a physical relation with him!

anita