Hello anita, thank you for replying.

We met in college. For the first year and a half we saw each other daily, except for the weekends when he would go home in his town, and except for the summer when it was also like a ldr.

At one point after constant disagreements and fights because of my insecurities he broke up with me and said he doesn’t feel anything anymore and that we’ll never get back together, which caused me very much pain, shock, anxiety, panic attacks.

I was constantly telling him that I don’t want a ldr anymore I just can’t do it anymore and it’s not normal to be in a ldr after all of this time and what we experienced together. He said he’s afraid to move because of the past when I hurt him with my behavior (being mean, feeling jealous for no reason, picking fights etc) and that he needs time to see that I have really changed.

I told him I don’t think I feel anything anymore. This made him rethink his way of thinking and realized he really doesn’t want to lose me. After a couple of weeks I finally told him about that co-worker, because I still felt confused and anxious and he brought it up that maybe I found someone else.

I don’t want to break up with him. I already feel a lot of pain thinking of being without him, thinking of a break-up, thinking of hurting both of us. I also feel really anxious and I cry when I think that maybe I don’t love him anymore. I don’t want anybody else. I just want to understand why I feel anxious and stop feeling anxious about him.