anna5466,

It seems that part of your growth opportunity (I believe that each relationship presents a growth opportunity) with your gf is to deal with your fear, speak your authentic truth, stand in your own preferences and not give up who you own wants/needs/desires, and embrace who you are, i.e. a lesbian partner.

You may or may not be able to do that with your partner but you don’t then you have to face that with the next partner.

This is a self esteem issue.  Your fear of asserting yourself, giving in to others,  your anxiety, the lack of advocating for your needs and wants and conceding to those who care not what you want are all issues of the lack of self love.

You may want to work with a therapist on dealing with the core issues that is keeping you from living fully your authentic you.

Mark