Dear Girija:

Your new experience at work, let it sink in, remember it, relive it, replay it in your mind, this is how you form new neuropathways and encourage these pathways to expand by having more of these new experiences.

Savor this new experience at work and repeat it at work and elsewhere in your life, in other contexts.

Regarding your mother, what you told her regarding that US man, ending with “I will actually say no when I want to”, is excellent. But here is the problem: you live with your mother every day, some days you are tired and discouraged and then you are likely to get tired asserting yourself and you are likely to give in to  her. Similar to what happened with the life insurance, you went ahead with it because she wanted you to, even though you didn’t at the time.

Your mother persists, you were born with the innate desire to please her, so when you are tired, maybe very discouraged by some event of the day or week, all your logic and courage from before is… not there on a particular day, you say Yes, to her, she acts on your Yes, things start rolling, you feel  uncomfortable disappointing your eager mother, feeling it is wrong for you to break your word to her, that Yes you  gave her…and before you know it, you are married to a stranger.

Your mother has a mission in mind, to marry you to a stranger. She will persist, most likely and “the lost and weary”, see the title of your thread, is likely to succumb.

I am concerned for you, don’t want those wings of yours cut off.

anita