Sure, I appreciate that you even want to reply in a first place so please don’t worry. I’m very thankful for your help.

Okay, I will definitely not go to this wedding. Part because of those reasons, partly because you told me I’m right (I don’t know why my own feelings aren’t enough sometimes, I need someone to tell me I’m right – anyway I’m learning to trust my own feelings) , partly because I simply don’t want to which should be enough. I remember once there was some family party and my mom didnt speak to my grandma over some petty issue, and we didn’t go to this party. Later when they started again speaking, grandma disapproved of our skipping the party and said it wasn’t right, and also people saw that we weren’t there etc. My mom tried to explain why she didn’t want to but grandma wasn’t interested in details. I remember all this surprised me, first not speaking and then judging us for our decision, when couple of months earlier she gave us silent treatment. funny. So I assume we will be judged again (looking forward to it) because I think my mom won’t go neither if I tell her that I’m not going.