That’s interesting, thank you for this explanation. I often think about it, because I can surely say she has been *usually* rude to us. rude, ignoring, she hates my dad, ignores me, doesn’t speak to my mom etc but once we had a minor car accident, nothing big, I was a child (8-9 maybe) and we saw her and she cried. It surprised me at that time, I knew even then that grandma was not a nice person so seeing her cry really surprised me. I thought something like “Wait, why does SHE care ??” It confused me, because being always rude and then showing emotions only when something happened, it didn’t add up. Anyway it’s not enough for me to believe she actually cares or *loves* us. I mean, I don’t know if she does or not, I have no knowledge of that, but I’m just saying it is not enough to convince me that she does. I see more proof that she doesn’t. (which she once stated by herself : “..but I don’t care about you/yours (home/place)”) You’re right about not calling, I know. It’s her choice, she doesn’t want to speak to use, and I can’t and don’t want to fix it. I also don’t enjoy being on “temporary good list” where currently my cousin is, also my aunt, and uncle. I feel like I care too much about this situation and grandma just goes on with her life. I wonder what she is thinking about it. Anyway great thanks for your help Anita, you have a great knowledge about people’s behavior and psychology. I’m very thankful.