thanks for the replys

the hardest part is that he is right in that i am significantly better friends with him than with her. i have seen and hung out with him numerous times since the last time i saw her, which was in Sept, even though we live in the same city. she cheated on him and was super manipulative and emotionally abusive to him. I knew this.

However, when they broke up he assured me that he didn’t want me to choose at all and that he recognized that it sucked that I was in the position that I was in in between the two of them.

But she also was crap to me afterwards as well, crossing boundaries, talking complete shit about him and trying to get me to hate him. She lied to me. I tried to patch it up because I was too terrified of inflicting the emotional pain on someone that i had had inflicted on me time and time again as a youth by people who i thought were my friends but were not. I didn’t want to do that to someone.  I was bullied and abused by friends for like a decade as a youth and I didn’t want to just abandon someone who had been my friend for a decade. I tried to patch it up because I didn’t feel comfortable to walk away from her because of my own insecurities.

I know that if I had not asked her to be in my wedding party I would not have tried to patch anything up I would have just let it die.

That’s the hardest part. I don’t want to kick her, but if I don’t I will 100% lose this person who I am much closer to and way more friends with.