Hello Jay

First of all, thank you for going through the entire thread and sharing your story. I had been feeling like I was stuck in some kind of over dramatic Tele-Novella but reading your story I feel that it is best that I start being selfish.

Due to all this, the man I am seeing and I, we had a bad night yesterday and a bad day today. Yet he was there, still caring. I have never experienced this, people still caring for me when they are angry. It is not a trait I have seen in my parents either. I have always been taught to compromise and keep things bottled up inside. The result is I am always miserable. I had lost hope of me achieving anything just because of how caged I felt and yet was unable to break through. I have spent hours and hours thinking and crying about my weakness of being there for my family each step and yet they tell me I am selfish and only think about myself. I don’t like reminding people of the things I do for them because then it wouldn’t even matter(if I am doing it only for their appreciation). But I had always made it clear to all of them that I may compromise with my happiness in everything else but not when it comes to choosing my life partner. So the mere fact that I have to talk about ‘him’ again and again defending him infront of my parents and thinking of how to tackle things with my sister, is making me irritated and even a little crazy.

Iwas afraid of losing her as my sister because that’s what she Said. If you talk to him, forget that we are related. And I was in a dilemma should I choose my sister who is my own blood, with whom I have no constructive discussion or anything fruitful OR do I choose the man who is not only patient and understanding as a partner but also a great friend. It’s a big decision to make specially when I need to be calm enough to focus on myself.

Reading your story however I realised that this is not some kind of once in a blue moon situation. There are many siblings who are inconsiderate and they won’t stop being that way. It’s us who has to find our own happiness. If at all, she ever cared for me, she will come around.

If not, I shall have to let go. I will miss her but If she cannot see what actually makes me happy then it is not appropriate for me to try pleasing her and make myself miserable.

Also I remember when I had first asked her about my guy. She told me she does not care whether I ever get a guy who has a strong chemistry with me or if I am ever able to be happy again, she just does not want me to date him.

I think it’s clear what I have to do.

I am really happy for sharing your story and insight. It is beautiful how people go beyond borders of continents and countries and stand along with people in need. World needs more people like you.

Stay strong and stay happy.

Whenever you feel like sharing something, talk to me again. I would love hearing from you and I would do the same for you.