Dear Anita,

My being a thing, and those qualities that were a tool – for her to think well of me/her, of her to others.

She felt good showing off.

If I had a lot of friends, oh look at my darling daughter the popular socialite.

If I was a doctor, oh look at my aamzing daughter she can do it all

If I was dancing, oh look she takes after me doesn’t she, she has that dancer in her

If I had a good boyfriend (one acceptable to society, good family, career, etc) , look at how great I raised her to meet a nice boy she deserves

Always the case.

but interesting how CC now, is still in a way, connected to seeking the things she taught me to – that wwere the right things, the “right things” I should say