Hi Belle

I know that for my sake (more than his), that I have to forgive, forget and move on. But my rage boils over sometimes

Forgiveness is an art that most of us practice badly. Most people feel that when they forgive they are also giving up on asking for accountability from the person that hurt then and so they must forget as in never remember the event of being hurt. If you think about it, such a perspective likely creates resentments and anger.

Forgiveness does not remove accountability. You can forgive someone and hold them accountable. By forgiving in this way, forgetting is a decision not to dwell. You become mindful when you are dwelling on the past hurt and taking a breath to let it go.  Let it go is not in pretending the hurt didn’t happen but realizing that when you dwell on the hurt it only intensifies. The practice of ‘forgetting’ is to notice and allow the experience to flow vice damming it up. Other attributes to forgiveness are to forbear and forgo. We forbear as in we sit with what we are feeling, a time to feel what you feel without reaction or responding to it. When we forgive we also forgo desires of getting even and revenge. Revenge and getting even are not the same of holding those that hurt us accountable. We hold them accountable from a place of love. If I give you my key and you steal from me taking back the key is not done from a place of anger but accountability and love.

I suspect your right that much of your anger is coming from a place with the feeling of a loss of personal power and control.   If such is the case the practice of mindfulness might.