Anita, thank you so much for the insightful response, and taking the time to consider my situation.

Yes, once I found out about my low-T, i did what the doctor had suggested until my blood levels indicated that I was at normal levels. I do not believe low-T was the culprit in this scenario, however. Having been awake almost 24 hours at the point the intimacy began, I feel fatigue was mostly responsible. Also, since I’ve been single almost 3 years, the last time I’d been intimate with a woman has also been 3 years. In that time, I’ve developed a habit of viewing pornography, and  masturbating nearly every day, and in some cases twice. I think both of these things may have also contributed. As a result, I’m going to cut pornography out of my life entirely.

I never considered the father-figure/ desire to have a family aspects of my psyche that you’ve pointed out, but it would make alot of sense. I tend to fall short in many categories that are typical masculine qualities. I lack confidence. I’m very agreeable. And I’m not assertive at all, which has held me back in many aspects of life, including romance. I believe those attributes that I lack have held me back from pursuing potential dates/partners, which may be why I hurt so much from this experience. I don’t take abandonment very well emotionally, and the fact that I’m relatively shy when it comes to the opposite sex has meant that that dating prospects for me tend to be few and far between, so when one comes into my life, then leaves, it extrapolates the hurt to unreasonable levels.