Dear Gracie:

You saw this man a little over a month and within that month, “He wanted me to meet his parents and then meet my parents etc. just various things that would suggest moving the relationship forward”-

-there are two most likely possibilities why he suggested that you meet his parents and he meets yours within the first month of dating you (as well as say other things that would suggest moving the relationship forward):

1. maybe he wanted to have sex with you and when men suggest moving the relationship forward, the woman is more likely to have sex with the man (and after having sex with you a few times, he didn’t care for more sex)

2. maybe he was very infatuated/ fell in love with you and really thought about marrying you (and fell out of love within a month).

The way to avoid possibility 1 and two is to not have sex with a man in the first three months of dating no matter what the man says (it is simply too… simple, too easy and quick for any person to pronounce words, remember that!) –

-in case of possibility 1, if a man doesn’t have sex with a woman, he will not be motivated to see her after a few failed efforts to have sex. A breakup/ being rejected before sex is less painful than being rejected after sex.

-in case of possibility 2, if the man falls in love with you, well, he will be okay with not having sex with you for a few months, he will be happy to just see your face and hear your voice, he will be thrilled!

I understand you being upset about this, of course it is upsetting to be rejected. As to your question, I don’t see a reason to hope that he will “realize he does know what he wants”- because he did know what he wanted when he ended the month long relationship, he wanted to end it, so he did.

If I was you, I would mourn this short term relationship, take your time doing so and learn from the experience, perhaps adopt my suggestion of the three-month-rule?

I will soon be away from the computer and back in about 14 hours. I hope you feel better soon!

anita