Hi sadman11,

I believe it’s never too late to recognize our mistakes and to make things right with other people. You are not the first person to project your own self-hatred onto another person. It happens every day and in every town. Make things right with her, not because you want to get her back but because it’s the right thing to do. Rewrite your original post as a letter to her. Let her know that you’re aware of your issues and that you’re going to get help for them. Let her know she’s done nothing wrong, that she has a right to feel hurt and insulted by the things you’ve said and done, and that you very much regret doing those things. Apologize to her, and then wish the best for her and let her go.

Next, forgive yourself, right now, and become the person you want to be. Yep, you get to decide who you want to be. It’s a decision that you get to make every day before you get out of bed in the morning.  And then be that person. Every single day.

What I see through your writing is a broken man who sees himself as a monster. I don’t see a monster at all. I see a good person who’s in a lot of pain.

B