Hi anita

My mom’s lobectomy happened yesterday. She is still in the ICU. I guess knowing too much can hurt too. Her heart rate seemed fast when i went to check, it is not like I should tell the nurses inside on what to do. But it is on my mind. I cannot see her till tomorrow. I am at my aunt’s house and she stayed at the hospital. This is just a lot and every second is really scary. I am just anxious and also grateful for my aunts and cousin brother. I was really not ready to take this all on on my own, i somehow dragged along up until now but having them here for the main surgery has been good.

It is just really hard. I always tell my mom what happened. I often look to my phone to tell my mom something but realize she is not going to the get the message. I really miss her. I want to her to recover. I am scared. And i have to be at the hospital by myself tomorrow. I have to ensure i get all the necessary information from the doctors, but my social anxiety is a little bothersome. I am pushing through that as well.

Thanks a lot for your concern.