Dear Anita,

I thought about this more – the concept of feeling important or needed if someone (perhaps a mother) gives you such a duty or role.

I am sure for many people, like myself, it is difficult to relinquish that role.  And to know how to pause it or turn it “off” at times.

As per your previous question above: when i came home to that scenario – I was flustered but not surprised.  I went to SCC mode, consoling my mother – but also frustrated. Berating her for making foolish errors like this, saying “well what do you think would happen if you got involved with someone like that.” I was at that age (mid 20s) not afraid to talk back to her at all – playing the role of the mother scolding the silly child.

It was interesting this time – the idea of mother scolding the child, but then quickly my mother would ruffle her feathers and jump back up – and say to my father: look at our daughter scolding me, who does she think she is! tell her to focus on her own life! its not like she has it all together herself!!