Dear sofia:

When you compared stories, the comparing was a mental activity, happening in your brain, a collection of thoughts. No wrongdoing there. You disapprove of comparing, so you can stop comparing, every time you find yourself comparing, you can say to yourself: I don’t approve of comparing, so I will stop, do something else.

Like I wrote to you before, thoughts just happen, we don’t choose them. Whatever we think, it is our personal business, no one else’s. When we don’t like thinking certain thoughts and we notice that we are thinking them, we can think something new, like: I don’t approve of comparing, so I will stop.

Don’t blame yourself for thinking anything, as if you are a bad person for thinking this or that.

“It’s as if I want people to do these terrible things”- good news is that by thinking you don’t make anyone do anything, they can’t … hear what you are thinking. So your thinking is not dangerous to others.

Whatever you think, sofia, whatever you feel is okay. Everyone has thoughts and feelings that are not… pretty, or something they would like to tell others. No one has pretty, nice thoughts and feelings all the time- not a single person on the face of the earth.

Choose your behavior, choose to not look at stories of the kinds you’ve been looking for. It is not healthy for you to read and compare. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it makes you feel bad.

I will soon be away from the computer for a few hours. Feel free to post again, anytime you want (today, tomorrow, the day after, anytime) and when I return I will read and reply to you.

anita