Dear Cali Chica:

“Then the jackhammer stopped. It wasn’t forever and it didn’t ruin the relaxation of my class as I automatically assumed“- when you were momentarily relaxed as a child, your mother in her on and on and on talk (jackhammer) ruined your relaxation, so you expected that to happen then, your momentary relaxation ruined… until it was no use to rest in relaxation, too fleeting, likely to be disrupted anytime.

“The teacher walked in and she was incredible. Her voice and mannerisms were instantly comforting- I knew I was in good hands. I knew I would leave feeling spent, relaxed and regenerated”- this is what you needed your mother to be, but she wasn’t. She was a jackhammer, so to speak, so you knew that you… weren’t in good hands.

Fast forward- you can adopt instantly comforting voice and mannerisms at home, with your husband. That is the best you can do for him, he too will be able to relax and regeneate, and it will be part of the mission of bringing about Calm Cali Chica.

“while in the frenzy of this city, I am finally learning to be less frenzied myself”- you were able to enjoy and appreciate nyc because you were calm enough. But the frenzied people you and your sister were on your travels, couldn’t enjoy, a stolen moment here and there, maybe. But then the jackhammer starts again.

“Calm is everything” you wrote yesterday, in bold letters.

anita