Dear Peggy, your description has hit the mark.  When we were younger, trying to solve our economic problems was something that committed us full time.  Now that we have reached a more stable situation, sometimes I almost get the impression that my husband is “forced” by his own character to create new worries.  In fact he is a very active person, unable to enjoy a vacation.  It’s not his fault if he has such a character.  His family past certainly influences, his mother died at 93 and up to the last she worried about anything, we tried to calm her but for her it was impossible.
Sometimes I fantasize about leaving it, but I think it happens to almost all couples.  Over the years I have realized that I am a solitary person, I do not hate others but often they make me suffer while when I’m alone I’m serene (but I must also say that I have never lived alone, so I could be wrong).
But I don’t think I leave him.  He didn’t do me any harm, he’s not perfect but neither am I, I’m a very private person and I live mainly in my inner world, not that this is a positive thing but it’s like that.  I have never tried to change him, I just try to change my hypersensitive reactions so as not to sadden me unnecessarily when he is anxious about old age.  For me it is not a problem, I try to take life with serenity.  I must say that my husband does not worry about his death per se, but only because he thinks that I would be alone.  This is true but what is the point of caring now and living badly?  Above all, in our country, retirement homes for the elderly certainly do not lack.
Thanks again for everything.  Being able to talk is a great relief for me.