I realise tonight (as I cry myself to eventual sleep), it wasn’t worth it. None of it was worth it. I regret loving him. I regret it all.

I had a better life before. I feel I did. I know many say it’s better now, you grow etc. I don’t agree. My life was better before. My heart was better before. It’s like the relationship broke me and now I can’t be fixed and I want to go back to how I was before. I enjoyed being there.

Thats what makes me most sad, that I made a mistake that now can’t be undone and I have to live with the unhappy consequences.

Goodnight all.