Dear anita,

thank you! I am really trying to make my life better. Today also was o.K. After work, I worked for some time on one of my art projects. But, I also would have wanted to do some sports or something relaxing. But you just can’t do it all. Last week I wished to draw more, I guess I still have to find out how to balance everything.

As for my friend, maybe she just needs some time for herself. But I also was worried that my advice was too harsh, as her mother is depressed. It is just, that I wish for my friend to also have some time for herself. She always seems to be working or helping out her family. But she has to find her own way… And I already tried to reach out to her. I am a little worried that I have been difficult in the past months. But now that I feel better, I would like to be there for her. Hopefully, she is okay and we can talk again soon.

Maybe I can also use this alone time to focus on myself and my goals. Maybe it is exactly what I need right now. Time of calm and time to reflect. But also time to become active and work on my problems.

I think you are right, it takes time and patience to heal. And I am definitely feeling better than some months ago! My emotions became so extreme and my self-esteem dropped to a record low. Now I am feeling that I can like some things about myself and I also have a better vision on how to accomplish my goals, and more importantly, I feel motivated to improve my life!

But it can’t be done overnight and I will make mistakes along the way. For example, at work I sometimes am insecure when talking to people on the phone. But I am getting better, I feel. Just sometimes I become overwhelmed and refer to a colleague.

Today everybody was in a meeting, while I was the only contact person available for the clients. After the meeting one of my colleagues (one of the chefs) came by and said “Oh, Mrs. X, you poor mouse, how are you getting by?”

I guess she didn’t mean it in a bad way, but still, who calls a grown up person a “poor mouse”? Maybe I should have said something, at least: “I am not a poor mouse, please stop saying that.”, but I didn’t say anything. Clearly, I don’t want to appear like a pitiful little person! I want to leave this behind me, become stronger.

Of course, I am not my colleague (who is currently on holidays) who is confident and seems to be in charge of everything all the time. But for being me, I think I did well enough this week without her.

Tomorrow I will do my best at work and try to not always ask for help immediately. But I will also go home punctually, and not work longer… Enough of trying to please everyone! I need my time for my art projects and to recharge…

In any case, I am trying to keep going!