Dear Anita,

This morning I was yelling.  It was like a crazy person talking to themself.  When the dog woke me up I was in such a deep sleep (seldom happens) that I woke up abruptly.  I felt so angry at – at —- my husband! I felt god!!! Why didn’t we put the automatic feeder on with the door closed.  Stupid husband always saying its ok he’s up early anyway! Well I don’t want to be up any earlier!!!! ROAR

He says its okay I am already up I’ll take care of the dog, you go get ready for work.

So this triggers me..

So I YELLED. I yelled and said something like: “god I am sick and tired of not getting sleep it is 5:45 AM, he is a dog – but we need boundaries! Don’t tell me it’s okay you are up anyway, I don’t want to be up earlier!!!!!! Staying out 2 extra hours saturday then up multiple times on Monday night, I can’t take it! I need sleep I need sleep.  I am sick and tired of giving my energy away!”

He says – why are you yelling at me? I am okay taking care of the dog, that’s why I said that.  Of course we can put the automatic feeder in.  Why are you yelling.

So in my rage I respond something like: “its not just about now – I am so god d***n sick and tired.  We need boundaries.  We need sleep and energy more than anyone.  Everyone else blood sucking leeches taking away from us, and we preserve nothing! I am sick of it.  That’s it.  If in the future we are out and I say it is time to go, we are leaving.  Just like our freind C (the ones who moved to Florida, his wife is quite “controlling” if lets say we are at a bar and she gives him a “look” he will literally drop his drink or toss it and say gotta go – when she says its time to go he obeys like a puppy) so  I say, we may think C and his wife are this or that, but they’re NOT!!! they are mature adults who know their limits.  When she says its time to go – he says okay and they leave.  They don’t act like 20 year olds running around without sleep.  I don’t want to live that way anymore!!

I get more angry.  (his friend’s wedding is coming up August 24, and you know how I feel about going to events and especially weddings these days).  I say if at O’s wedding you want to stay out till all hours of the night – be my guest.  I am not coming.  You know what people do – they do what THEY WANT.  You know how on fourth of July the (horrid wife) came and left when she pleased when we had the whole place set up.  who did she worry about?! HERSELF. Who do we worry about, others.  Idiots. Idiots we are.  So let’s say its our wedding, you think O is gonna stay out till 2 am if he and his wife need to work on themselves and there’s trouble in paradise.  You better believe he will be out the second its over.  But you, you will go along with it – you will say oh O wants to go out and do this, so I am going.

No more, next time we are out and we are tired, and I say its time to go, as in this has been a good night, more is not better – we are leaving.  I don’t want to be that controlling wife like C, but I have reached my limit.  I need sleep and I need us to grow up.

I was yelling and screaming Anita, enraged at 5:45 AM

oh and…

As far as the call thing, Yes I do sleep else where if I know he is on call, the thing about Monday is that those calls were slightly unexpected, it happens – it comes with the job.  It is foolish to get angry at the job.  and even worse to get angry at HIM because of the job.  But as above I was not being rational…