Dear Anita,

Yes. I am.

I also am overwhelmed at the pattern at lashing out at my husband and am starting to feel it is “out of my control.” Of course the educated individual in myself with a strong head knows that is BS. Just like when a patient tells me they are destined to be obese it is out of their control, I say – no you can do it! And motivate them.

I know it is different, but intellectually I know exactly what you say the mindfulness and the practice.

But – the innate self feels overwhelmed and cyclical.  I don’t actually feel the medications will change much as I do not believe they will “keep me from lashing out.” I do believe there is a time and place for them, and I am not sure if this part of the journey really is for that..

I do need to find a quality psychotherapist which I have been working on today and yesterday. I also look forward to your notes.

So at this point, I worry for my husband – having this pattern of using him as a punching bag.  Over and over and over.  He is sick and tired.  I am sick and tired.